21 February 2005


This is strange: I've been feeling kinda lost the last week but can't define the source.

Maybe it's because I'm finishing the demo for The Silent Spectrum and have no clear path beyond that. Moving from a sense of accomplishment to uncertainty is always jarring. Maybe it's because I'm starting a new painting for two friends--a process also filled with uncertainty. I'm a competent draftsman but have always struggled as a colorist. It's kind of embarrassing since my fucking degree is in painting, but a constant struggle keeps you sharp. Maybe the job search is finally getting me down. I've got a constant flow of in-process possibilities, so there's no reason for grief. However, such open-ended tasks can be unnerving.

It's even hard to focus on the RadioWave code, even though I have a long list of fun features (and not so fun bugs) to work on.

Maybe this is all just some form of seasonal depression.

The answer, I know, is to keep busy: don't sloth around like you'd like to because that just aggravates the issue. Get back to a tight work schedule. Yeah.

[ posted by sstrader on 21 February 2005 at 2:07:13 AM in Misc ]