30 May 2005


Another weird rule that rules my life: I won't practice piano unshowered.

This rule, recently, made me think of how many little rules I have. Blogs can be, but don't have to be, enablers to certain harmless qualities of OCD. Categorize this and file that. My obsession with organization (another activity besides recycling of what makes me happy) is a symptom of a need to control my world, but I'm not sure why. If you'd have asked me, as one of those millions of What Type of X Are You quizzes probably does, if I feel (A) in control or (B) out of control of my life, I'd say A with little hesitation.

But something's nagging at me. Why so many silly rules?

Some rules are because I get so distracted. Shower-comb-floss-brush-deodorant-iron-dress-done. If I do one out of order, I'm likely to forget whether I've done it at all because I'm generally thinking some dumb-ass thought while I'm doing it and not paying attention. But some other rules are just from a desire to control my environment--usually where it's unnecessary. And what's more, I think those rules have been multiplying lately.

(Tangent: creatively, a person has to embrace a certain lack of control. You can't force creativity; you can only learn your own personal tricks to tap into it. In order to tap in, you must relinquish control.)

[ posted by sstrader on 30 May 2005 at 5:06:53 PM in Misc ]