I missed the one year anniversary of beginning work on the piece. I’m not sure how to feel.

I missed the one year anniversary of beginning work on the piece. I’m not sure how to feel.
A couple of years back I purchased the score for Finnissy’s piano collection English Country-Tunes, a beautiful score and equally arresting music. The first time I listened to it it deeply terrified me. Following that, and following along with the New Complexity composers, I purchased Ferneyhough’s Lemma-Icon-Epigram. Another stunning piano work. (And one, equally, I’d never be able to play.) Since then I’ve purchase a couple of other beautiful modern scores.
I’ve just started the 5th movement, Fire, in which our heroes are trapped in a conflagration in the field of local villagers. (In my research notes, I have it covering pages 94-115 of the 2020 Penguin/Vintage edition I use as reference.) At this point I am struggling with the idea of program music in contrast with soundtracks. A few months back I had an abbreviated, stumbling Twitter conversation with an individual Much Better Informed but we ended up having the same opinions of soundtracks-as-pure-music. That is: a low one. In these days of a renaissance of quality composers, it’s admittedly a bit unpopular to get all academically scoffy about music written for movies.
One lesson I learned back in 2019 when I was experimenting with orchestral writing was that–one personal revelation that is–I love writing for percussion. From college-and-after-days I’d always admired the drummer and their skill of body-wise coordination rather than hand coordination; admired it likely because it was simply of equal competency to a pianist yet foreign. And that sounds really arrogant, but I think it’s just more naivety of the percussionists’ milieu. No offense, but you’re awesome.